Prologue

This website is not another campaign to ridicule women with tasteless jokes, hurtful comments, or why men are better than women. In fact, we propose a radical and forward thinking solution to an age-old problem – why men don’t get to do the things they want to do? For this, we propose Man Day.

 

This largely self-explanatory name is exactly what it says – Man Day. It’s a day that we men stand together as a united front to take part in strictly man things. More importantly it provides men around the globe with a unique escape clause against all non-male humans to not be influenced by their cunning and wily ways.

Listen here man-friends; are you tired of getting shouted at for leaving the toilet seat up? Aren’t there times when you just wish you could just fart out loud? Don’t you dream of days when there is no dispute as to who will be in charge of the TV remote?

Well Man Day provides you with legal rights to these actions. More importantly, Man Day provides moral reasoning behind a man’s decisions. You choose to spend your man-day as you see fit, AND you can justify your actions by simply saying “sorry babe, it’s Man Day.” What a dramatically simple yet powerful answer to even the most controversial of queries.

A man has 24 hours to catch up on man stuff, and because men are reasonable beings, we still grant non-men 6 days a week! Far too generous in our opinion but acceptable none the less.

Urban Dictionary's Definition of Man Day

 

According to the RoMan calendar, Man Day falls on a Saturday. It is a logical day because Sunday to Friday have been, and always will be non-man-days. It begins pronto at 00:00 on Saturday mornings and ends 00:00 Sunday morning.

“A Saturday?” we hear you non-men screech! Abso-fucking-lutely a Saturday! You see Man Day requires a full uninterrupted 24-hours, and a Saturday is the only reasonable time for this to happen. The working week just doesn’t give a man a moment to relax, and Sundays are usually reserved by non-men way in advance for polite lunches and family duties.

But not Saturday – oh no! Saturday provides an ‘all inclusive’ package of anything from live sport to needlessly starting the lawn mower, tinkering with it, and putting it away again.

 

During the week we men tolerate her bad days at work, we tolerate horrific soap operas on TV, we accept with hardened resolve that our social appointments will be arranged by non-men, and we are still obliged to respond positively to phone calls like:

            "Hi babe, how was work? Okay enough about you, my day was horrible and I hate my job. Also my jeans felt a bit tight for some reason. Am I putting on weight? Hey honey? Have I packed on a kilo or two? That’s it, I’m fat! Oh God, I must go back to gym, lettuce and super-size diet cokes again. Anyway, please pick up some milk, bread, cheese, and fruit on the way home. But not that nutty bread, the nice fresh whole wheat stuff, and 2% fat milk too. Don’t forget the girls are coming round tonight for the finale of (something sickening on TV), so you might want to shower before they get here. And………” etc.

Looks all too familiar doesn’t it. But as the bread winners and patient species we are willing to deal with it, because we know that we get Man Day once a week, and you cannot possibly be influenced in your decision making. Our unresolved attention to non-men happens for 6 days in a row, which we are happy-ish to grant.

Sure you may well take part in shopping on a Man Day, but NEVER against your wishes. If you want to wake up, fart out loud, scratch your balls and complain about your headache, you can. You can also slurp your coffee in bed, and spill crumbs from your bacon roll on the couch. Man Day laws clearly state you can even play with your power tools, compare notes on machines, discuss rugby, and of course open your beer with your teeth. In fact you can do as you please. It’s like having the ultimate ‘to do’ list but we just change the name to the ‘What I want to do’ list.

Now ladies (sic!), before you panic about the potential consequences of Man Day on your man, know that in fact you are being a better partner. For too long you ladies (sic, again) have known that your man needs his man time, but you rarely grant it. Now for a mere 24 hour ‘grace period’, you will have a man among men as your bed time toy. Why? Because he needs just one day a week to do those things forbidden from him for the other 86% of the week – undeniable statistics!

 

 

Absolutely! Ground breaking research has revealed that non-men benefit in the following ways:

[*] Note the wording: ‘he may…’

 

Ah, interesting question. Actually yes, non-men can in fact attend Man Day. Of course there are strict rules that apply such as:

 

Now of course this is entirely up to the individual and will be continued soon!

 

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